*Photo used for illustrative purpose*
I have spent thousands of pounds and wasted thousands of hours on webcamming. When I think about what else I could have spent the money on, I feel sick. I am 26 and single but I have a very strong s'ex drive, which I think must be fuelling this addiction.
Sometimes I think it leaves me unable to care for real people in a proper relationship. I find myself wondering why I should put in a lot of effort and end up with an average-looking girl when I can get what I want from a stunning girl at the click of a mouse.
It began when I was living alone in a bedsit. I have never minded my own company but I soon got bored in the evenings and started paying for webcam shows. I found it more thrilling than porn as I could dictate the action and interact with the performers.
I realise now it is an addiction because I have tried to quit many times over the past few years. I can never go without it for more than a couple of weeks. I have only myself to blame but I really do want to move on with my life.
I have tried online dating but without much success. I have had the occasional fling here and there as a result but that is all. I have all but given up messaging girls on dating apps as I find many of them boring.
In any case, quite often they don’t reply.
So I am stuck with my addiction — even though I am getting nowhere — while friends and the people I grew up with are settled, married and starting families.
I know this is my own stupid fault but how do I move on?
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